A Party on Saturday afternoon

Yesterday my wonderful family threw an amazing party for me, to celebrate my 80^th birthday last month. They were simply magnificent, all contributing, and some friends as well, to make a memorable occasion.  After several of them had spoken, telling me all sorts of things about my life, including some that were news to me, I was handed the microphone.  Here is what I said/ wanted to say:

 

My most significant birthday out of the last ten years or so (because once you get to my great age you don’t entirely trust your memory beyond about that much) was my 75^th in 2008. We woke up in Thurlby, Lincolnshire, and drove north through Lincolnshire, past RAF bases where Karen spent some of her childhood (her father was with the RAF), across the Humber Bridge and on to York, where we had lunch at an Italian restaurant just off the Shambles. Then on to Harrogate, and Skipton. (If you’ve been watching “Last Tango In Halifax” you’ll know about Skipton.) We had afternoon tea in Skipton, then down the valley through a one-hour traffic-jam towards Preston and then non up the motorway to Lancaster, to stay with Pauline and Russell Rigby. We are sad that Russell and Pauline couldn’t get here. Also Lyn and Derek Challis, who looked after me when Judy died, and then some years later gave Margaret and me a nudge towards each other. Also Tom and Patricia Woods and Roger Hanson. And cousin Barbara Tucker. And especially Sophie and her parents, Julia and Andrew.

 

Most notable absentees are three who didn’t survive: Judy, my great brother-in-law Dinesh Halder and good friend Iain Tennent, who died only a few short months ago.

 

So thanks to those who have taken the trouble to come so far: John and Stella, Terry and Karen, Nina and Gareth, Rowan, and Penny. And from Auckland: Ian and Shirley and Audrey and Bill, Stu and Cath and family, Olly, Beth. From PN: Don and Fran, Tony and Kathryn and Wilma and John. And welcome to all friends who share this lovely environment of North Taranaki with us.

 

Thanks also to Matthew for the help he has been in various ways. It is easy to take for granted the support and friendship of family members who live close by; I want Matt and Evelyn to know that their friendship and encouragement is valued highly by us, quite apart from the joy that the grandchildren bring us.

 

And a special word of thanks to my two wives: Audrey for her years of being a great mother and a devoted grandmother, and then, of course, Margaret for all her support and care of me, and the children and grandchildren, over half my life. You all know Margaret and understand that no-one could wish for a more supportive partner, or more affectionate friend, or a more united mate. She has been a brick from the first day to the last, and I couldn’t have reached this day without her.

 

When I was young I thought I’d be lucky to reach 2000, and here we are 13 years further on than that. At 80 one is supposed to have significant things to say. I have been thinking about what was the most impressive, or significant day or event of my life? Was it my fifth birthday when my grandfather gave me a clockwork Horby train? Was it my first day at secondary school – AGS. Was it the day Audrey and I arrived in Agartala. Was it the day in 1959 I saw Mt Everest from the top of that hill near Darjeeling. Was it the day Judy died. Was it the day Margaret said Yes. Was it the day I got my first National Super payment, way back in 1996.

 

All in all there have been four of them: each time one of my children has been born. There is something very special about the moment a new life comes into the world, especially one of ones own descendants. And the grandchildren are almost as special. But they have parents of their own. (You only have to watch, on “One born every minute” the transformation of raw youths into real men the moment their first baby is born: the new, profound respect for this woman who has been through hell to produce a new life, the massive increase in self-esteem that becoming a father brings, the fierce protectiveness for this new life, and the gentle handling of a precious wee one.)

 

So Terry and Matthew and Julia, you are my most important life-symbols. I value you each for your own contribution to the world and your love and support and friendship with me, especially the relationship as adults. And the contributions your partners, Karen, Evelyn and Andrew, each make to the family as well. Now that also applies to my oldest grandchild, Nina and her partner, Gareth, who has flown from Adelaide for the weekend specially to be here.

 

This is already too long and too serious. Fortunately Stuey has already contributed the best jokes. And thankyou to the Edwards family for that hilarious song!