and on his doorstep sits a balding senior citizen.
In front of him a group of younger neighbours appears
And one of the better dressed begins a speech.
"We have a special request, your reverence.
We want you to become our patron."
"So," replies the older man,
"Who do you represent?"
"We are the All-Italy Lovers' Association, sir,
And we hear you have a soft spot for lovers."
Valentinus takes a deep breath and starts to think:
If I am too reluctant they will think I have
Something to hide,
And if I am too keen they will think I have
Something else to hide.
"What is the job description of the patron
Of your illustrious society?"
"The main thing we need is to add
Your saintly reputation to our image;
Lovers have a bit of a bad press these days
And we have a corporate aim to change that."
"Doesn't the choice of patron require
An investigation by the authorities?"
"Your reverence, we have already arranged that.
We have a committee standing by to start.
The chairman is a former Italian Prime Minister,
And the members are two former US Presidents,
Several members of European Royal Families,
And half a dozen film stars."
Valentinus heaves a great sigh.
"In that case, there will be no problem.
With such illustrious referees I should be
Able to play the part as your patron."
"The one difficulty is, sir, one that baffles us.
We have not been able to find a Devil's Advocate!"
"I don't think that should worry you too much,
There were several popes a few centuries ago
Who would have all the experience you need!"
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