Marriage Discussions

The beginning of 1955 was when I began to realise that Audrey had some qualities that made her stand out from the other girls in our circle: she was intelligent and energetic, as well as being attractive, and she seemed to respond to my friendly overtures. I was impressed by her completing the first year of her Training College course, and at the same time gaining university entrance at night school. 

Within a few days of the beginning of the new academic year we were an item, to use a more modern term, and by the end of the year were planning a life together. Audrey was 18 and I had just turned 22. Nowadays this would be regarded as exceptionally young; then it was young but not unusual by any means. We had not told our families about our plans, in fact we were only just working them out ourselves. 

As I have said, I was planning to apply to the New Zealand Baptist Missionary Society to work as a teacher in India. The Principal of St Paul’s School, a long-serving missionary teacher, Eileen Arnold, was ready to retire, and they needed someone to replace her. 

Now in those days people became missionaries for life. All occupations were like that then; you joined a profession, or in many cases a firm, and worked for them for 40 years until retirement and a gold watch.  And the expectation was that one would work for the missionary society all one’s life. 

As well as that, the rule was that young missionaries were sent to India single. If they were engaged already, the fiancée was allowed to follow a year later after it was clear the man’s health and progress with learning the language were OK. 

As 1956 progressed,  and we were teaching in Hamilton and making our plans clearer, we proceeded with the application to the mission, on the basis that we would marry in 1957 before leaving after the end of the school year.  There was a lot of discussion about the rules and making changes to them, and we were finally accepted on this basis, but with an unwritten understanding that we were to avoid having a family until our language studies were well under way. 

Another unusual feature of our application was that we had had no formal theological training. I was taking some papers towards a Bachelor of Divinity degree from Melbourne University, but the usual requirement was a Theological College course or at least a Bible College one. 

However we had a good track record of skills in leadership in Church activities. For instance during our year at Training College Audrey and I ran two camps for intermediate age children at the Baptist Camp at Carey Park, Henderson Valley. We had good helpers at each of them, Audrey with girls and me with boys, and the weather that holiday was atrocious, but the camps went well. 

Further complicating these issues for me was the fact that my parents were good friends with several of the people on the committees that had to make these arrangements. It did not sit well with them that I was stirring the pot which was watched over by these family acquaintances. 

However, it all worked out in the end, and we were married at our Epsom Church in September 1957. 

As well as our first three months of married life being full of plans for shifting to India, we were also travelling around the Waikato taking Church services on Sundays, talking about the work we were going to. 

Besides this I had my teeth out,  that is all except six bottom ones. Four successive weekends, a fortnight apart, the dentist took out all the teeth on one side, top or bottom, and I recovered over the weekend. This was in those days dental work was hard to get in Agartala, so it was thought best to take false ones! I have never really regretted this move, and it has been vastly cheaper than the alternative. 

So, by January 1958 we were ready for the great adventure.