A Low Point

1969

1968 ended with my being pretty well established at work in the new job as Head of English at Mt Roskill, but things at home were deteriorating rapidly.

In April 1969 Audrey made it quite clear she was not prepared to continue with the marriage, and asked me to move out of the home, which by this time was in Seine Road, Milford.

We had spent a few months in a flat in Dominion Street at Takapuna, and then moved to Seine Street.

I was reluctant, but complied, and moved to a house in Mt Eden near the Valley Road shopping centre, where I had a room and shared kitchen and so on. I was most unhappy.

Both of us had contributed to the breakdown of the marriage. My father, who was one of the founders of the Marriage Guidance movement in Auckland, always said "It takes two to tango", and he had advised enough couples to know. And we were both aware of this.

 

But a large part of my despondency over the situation was because of the reaction my family would have - in fact were having - about any marriage break-up.

 

I struggled on through the winter term, including the first moon landing, which we listened to at school on radio.

 

By the August holidays I was heartily sick of my current life-style. I headed off on my own, on my scooter, into the Northland countryside. And it was a literal breath of fresh air.

 

I spent a night in Whangarei and several nights further north, relaxing and taking in the area, which I had not seen since childhood.

 

Judy, Phillip, Andrew and Terry at Grandma's flat in 1969

I came back to Auckland resolved to make changes. I had decided I did not have to continue just accepting what was happening, but could fight the situation. I made it clear I wanted the separation as soon as possible, and moved back into the family home until we could sort out the details.

 

We eventually signed a separation agreement, which took effect at the end of the school year. We both moved out, Audrey and Terry to a house further south in Takapuna, and Judy and I round the corner to a flat just off Forrest Hill Road. Alternate weekends the children were with each parent.

 

The arrangement about property was concluded without rancour. There really was very little fuss.

 

In those days all one needed for divorce was two years' separation. But neither of us was eager for the final step, so until Audrey and Bill were planning marriage, no-one initiated the final stage. And that was after another five or six years, in 1975.