In Memoriam

Forty Years Ago

Panning for gold in Central Otago on the last holiday

This month marks forty years since my eldest child died.

Judy was three days short of her fourteenth birthday.

Over the next few days, until the anniversary of her funeral service, I will be posting a series of chapters on her life.

On the evening of my birthday this week, Carys brought Judy's photo to me and asked me to tell her about Judy.

The photo is one we always have on display in our home; it is her last school photo taken in 1973.

We often talk about Judy in our home, and I guess there are other homes in the family where she is mentioned regularly too.

She was not the first teenager to die from our family. In the late nineteenth century there was a diphtheria epidemic which claimed the life of teenager Gracie, who everyone loved. We still have a letter Charles wrote to Gracie, and I will put it up for you to read as part of the memorial to Judy, so we can all see what Victorian grandfathers wrote to their loved granddaughters.

Fortunately for me, I have another fine, strong daughter, and three lovely granddaughters, so the gap Judy left is no longer completely empty. Her memory is by now just "gentle on my mind".

Judy was an exemplary daughter, not perfect, but one we were all very proud of. Our family has a tradition of strong, energetic, trail-blazing daughters who we mere men have a habit of looking up to: Lizzie, Doris, and Olwyn are examples. And Judy was one of them.